I didn't start out to be quiet on blogland and the TTWD front. It just happened somehow. Mid-summer just started a free-fall of children having practices and then school began and we rolled with that and all the football games that ensued. And are still going on. Not to mention our DD is a senior in high school (when did THAT happen?!??) so we've got all the fun stuff like pictures and the lot happening. I feel like I'm a hamster in a wheel right now.
And now this weekend. Paris. Lebanon. Other locations that were hit with either forces of nature or forces of terrorism. It's been a horrible weekend. We found out TBG'S uncle will not be coming home from hospice and may be passing within the next day or so. It wasn't something we expected this quickly. My 13-yr old son was in the room when Uncle began to moan and it caused him much heartache and tears ensued as he didn't know how to help Uncle or Auntie, for that matter. Another death in the family is not something we are looking forward to. DD mentioned that we have had one death a year for the past 11 years in our family. And she is correct. It comes from having a large, old family. But it has been a hard thing for my children to live through...the death of so many loved ones. I pray that Uncle goes peacefully and quickly for his sake.
As to TTWD it is still here. We are still trying but there have been no true spankings for a few months. I am nearly at wits end with how much I need it. Require it. I have tried talking with TBG and he says yes, we are still doing it. And yes, he knows he needs to do more spanking. But it just doesn't happen. I even wrote him a letter, hoping that he would understand I fully support him in this and to not worrying he is doing it right or wrong. To just do it! I bet Nike wouldn't care for that picture with their slogan, LOL. It's difficult being between a rock and a hard place....knowing you need it but afraid that asking too much for it will seem like trying to control it.
But, I will keep on with it. Because I need to be better at my submission. When thinking upon it, I have not been very good at what I need to be doing. I was falling back into pre-Maggie. Not good. So, I'm trying to find some kind of 30 days of submission things I can do - like, acts that will enhance my submission or make me think a little deeper on it. I have started making sure that dinner is on the table for him because he works later hours than me. That makes me - and him- feel better.
I hope everyone else's lives have been fabulous while I was gone! It took me a whole week or two just to catch up on a the blogs I missed!! And yes, I did read them all! I love the bloggers out here!
xoxo
Maggie
Maggie,
ReplyDeleteKeep two things here......... the faith in what you know will work and the communication with your honey.......... both are absolutely essential. Once a reader said on my blog that these men were not mind readers. Tell him what you want again and again. Then do it again.
Meredith
Thanks Mere! I am trying to balance the fact that he is not a mind reader with my "penchant for nagging." I need a middle ground! LOL
DeleteWise words above from Meredith - as always. It is good to hear from you, Maggie. Maybe one thing you can do that only needs to come from you is to blog at least twice a month. It would keep your head tuned into ttwd. That determination to make it work would stay stronger.
ReplyDeleteMaybe TBG just hopes you will get busy and forget about it all. Show him you are constant and patient but that what you wanted/needed last summer is still what you want/need this winter. Show him you will wait because it is so worth it. And read to him every chance you have alone together.
Ella Remains Optimistic
Ella, so good to hear from you! I am going to try and blog more, hoping that will help, as you say. And yes, I sometimes feel that he is hoping it will just die down...however it's been almost two years since I initially asked, so if he hasn't figured out that I'm stubborn on this subject yet... LOL
DeleteHi Maggie, I think in the early days we all have to ask and I don't think it is controlling from the bottom either. Just remember they have not got much clue either and it was our idea. How many men really read the blogs like we do? Not many I bet. Lots of husbands just do ttwd for us and when it is not something you are really into it is not going to come easy. At first my husband just sort of spanked now and again and there was never much to it but as time as gone on he has admitted that he is into it too now and wouldn't go back to life before ttwd. You have to talk and ask, the whole submissive thing has sort of passed us by, life is more joyful, it is all a compromise isn't it? We want more, they want less. I guess once we meet in the middle it sort of clicks. It must be so hard when you have kids about, I thank goodness ours have left home when he is walloping my rear end!!!
ReplyDeletelove Jan,xx
Jan, thanks so much for stopping by! I agree, most men don't read these blogs and since I'm the one that asked for this lifestyle I think I'm going to have to stay on top of it. I'm hoping he gets more into it as we go along. He enjoyed it the few times he did spank, I'm not sure what has changed....
ReplyDeleteI just happened upon your blog this morning and somehow it was meant to be that I'd find you on Thanksgiving. It appears you and I are pretty much in the same boat. My hubby is willing to talk about it, but just doesn't quite seem to get it, and it is completely out of his comfort zone as well. There are promising signs though. Ah well. Great that you can blog, and so appreciate everyone's comments.
ReplyDeleteHi Deena, thanks so much for reading and commenting!! I have been working on this for two years...we are in a much better place than we used to be but we are still stumbling and bumbling on this path but moving along! Is you ever want to talk feel free to email me ....
DeleteRedmaggiej@gmail.com
Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!