A pity party. Pretty sure that's what I'm throwing myself over here.
I'm so depressed and a little bit angry. Why am I angry? Why, because I'm not getting my way. Well, and because I promised my son something that I now have to renege on.
Ugh.
And it's my fault. Which makes me so upset with myself.
Ok, let me give you a little background. My son is turning 13 tomorrow (Side note: I cannot believe my baby is a teenager!). Within the last few weeks I have told him that we could have a birthday party for him and about 9 of his friends. He wanted it at SkyZone - a place full of trampolines where you can play dodgeball. The cost? $250. Way more than we usually spend. However, we had just thrown a surprise party for my daughter's 17th and I spent way more than that. TBG does not know how much that party ended up costing us 😁. I've just never truly mentioned the price I added it up to be. I know, I know. Not cool. Not honest. Fine, I know I should tell him. I can hear you all! 😝
Anyway, I promised my boy a party. Well, I've given up all final financial decisions to TBG. It was my choice. That's how I want it. He is the HoH. Well, the HoH says no. It's too expensive. And I am TRYING so hard to not do what I usually do and push...make him feel like he has to agree with me. I used to be able to do whatever I wanted. I was in charge! Now, I'm not. And I want to submit so gracefully. I really do. But right now my submission on this is about as graceful as falling down stairs.
I'm having such a hard time with this. I'm by no means a crier and I'm actually a little teary-eyed. Oh my, I just want to say, "yeah, well I'm doing it anyway!" But I can't. I want to beg him to just take some extra money from savings. But that's not what he needs me to do. TBG needs me to support his decisions. Even though this is not the decision I would make.
I'm so broken-hearted that I have to tell my son we can't do it! Is there anywhere else we can go? Nope, every other cool 13-yr-old boy thing is about the same price. I don't want to have a party at my house because there's nothing fun for them to do here plus we have a small house and a small yard. Again, ugh.
So, here I am. Struggling in my submission. Wanting so hard to just do what I want. But I'm not a child. I'm a submissive wife. My voice has been heard and taken into account. It just hasn't been agreed with. Has anyone else ever felt this way? I feel like it's so hard for me sometimes because The Big Guy had been checked out for so long and I just did what I could (and many times, what I wanted). I ran it all. And while I DON'T want that anymore it's a struggle to....well....not get my way, I guess.
I'm sure that I will feel better after a little bit. I'll try to figure something out. And then I'll take down my decorations for this pity party and move on.
Blessings to you all,
Maggie
Maggie,
ReplyDeleteI am not the one to ask. I usually gave in to those kinds of situations and ran right Jack. That was in the olden days. Which is worse ......... to disappoint your man or your son? Ugh!
I will wait until others have their say here.
Meredith
It's so hard to disappoint your children, isn't it? I hate it. Hopefully we have figured out a way around this for a mostly-happy ending!
DeleteThis one is tough for me too. I wouldn't want to destroy the dynamic you are trying to build, but kids are only kids for so long ( which isn't long) and 13 is such a tricky age. I think *I* would personally go back to my husband again and again until he told me no more. Why? Because *I* would want my son to be happy...if of course *I* could afford it.
ReplyDeleteI am with Meredith, ask yourself in this situation what is more important in this isolated instance. How damaging to your relationship will this be if you talk again?
I'm going with URGH too!
willie
Well, Willie, I was told I am "relentless" lol, so I must have gone back enough times. We did come to an amicable agreement that I hope will make my son happy. As it was he (the son) was trying the "you spend more on her" guilt trip. I did not buy into that trip! Lol
DeleteOh dear Maggie, I have no idea what to say. If your husband doesn't agree to the party I hope he is the one to tell your son he said no. Whle I agree you should have okayed it with your husband first, maybe now is not the time for him to take a stand, there is a child to consider after all. I think my hubby would have gone ahead with the party and my rear end would have paid the price. You have my sympathy
ReplyDeletelove Jan,xx
Jan, I think if he was a spanker that would probably be the answer. As he is not, that isn't an option! He is right, it's not money we have to spend right now, but oh, to have to tell my son we couldn't? It sucked, to put it simply. We did talk more about it, with me at his feet, and came to a resolution that I am happy enough with. Thank you for your sympathy!
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